I remember when I was in the 11th grade, my family began asking me what I wanted to do with my life. It was time to start thinking about what degree I should sign up for when I apply to University. All I knew at the time was that I wanted to be a “CEO”. I didn’t know what that meant, I just knew it was cool to be in charge and rich. “That’s not a job” my dad said to me. And so I was left confused and directionless – how was I meant to choose a path when I didn’t even know what paths existed?
As a young man, I had no inherent passion for math or software engineering, and I didn’t enjoy learning about cells or the anatomy of the human body. The only classes I really enjoyed were history classes, but I was never going to be rich and powerful by learning history. So like many other students with no exceptional intelligence, and no strong feelings about a specific path, I signed up for a business degree.
I got accepted into the University of California in Riverside and packed my bags. As the years went on, I started to lose trust in the university system. I wasn’t learning much in my classes and they were not exciting me (outside of history class which I still remember the most fondly.) In fact, I was learning more about business by reading biographies about successful businessmen and non-fiction business books on my own time. It made much more sense to me to learn the art of business from those who were successful at it than “business professors”, most of whom had never built or operated a successful business.
My trust in the University system and care for my studies died altogether when I began looking for jobs. It seemed to me that every “business” job was looking for skills that were not taught as part of my degree. By the time my senior year came around, I did not care for university at all except that I wanted to pass my classes and earn “a degree” so that I could be eligible to apply for work. And so I did the bare minimum, I cheated, I passed and I had my degree.
After I graduated, I found myself in an enterprise software sales job because it didn’t require any skills, it paid well, and it had a clear growth path. For a time, I was happy. I was successful, and I thought that I had found the career that was right for me. After all, my job was to talk to people and that’s the only thing that I’ve always been good at from a young age. But as time went on and the rush I got from making my first money dwindled, my passion for sales faded and I no longer enjoyed the work. A life of selling software seemed miserable and meaningless.
I had been learning Google Ads on the side with my eyes set on starting my own business and becoming a “CEO”. Like most of us young guys these days, I wanted location freedom, and financial freedom. I wanted to be my own boss. So I quit my job and decided to start a google ads agency for small SaaS startups. I quickly found that life to be lonely and I was making no money at all. I realized that I had made a mistake leaving a job without anything to lean on.
So I got back into software sales, this time at one of the best SaaS companies in the world. “This time will be different,” I told myself. I began with energy, excitement, and a desire to perform at the highest level but things did not click for me. It was a terrible environment where we were made to feel replaceable, unimportant, and cogs in a big machine that operated like a military. One year later, I was forced to leave the organization and quickly found a much better role, with much better pay, that I can do from home. Thank God for this huge blessing.
And here I am today – waiting to start a new job, and confused by all that has happened over the past three years. A time where I have learned how tough life can be, and a time that has pushed me to question what it is I want from life.
My problem stems from the fact that I don’t know exactly what occupation I want to spend the rest of my days on this earth doing, but certain constants have not changed with regards to what I want over the past few years.
I definitely want to make a good amount of money that will ensure a comfortable and cool life for myself and my family. I need to fulfill my duties as a man. The second is the ability to move around the earth freely. After being uprooted from my country of birth, I now feel unattached to any one location on this planet and more so want to find a country and a city that ticks a lot of the unique checkboxes that I am looking for.
The question still remains – how will I achieve this? Because it’s definitely not going to be with software sales. I am 25 years old which is by no means young. But I also have time to figure things out. But things won’t figure themselves out. It needs to be a conscious effort, where I set a target and chase it without giving up after some time.
I know that a business is where my answer lies, now it’s about finding the right business for me, based on what I’m good at, and based on what I enjoy. I enjoy teaching, I enjoy writing, and I’m good with social skills. This could be the business. It could be a coaching and info business about how to improve your social skills and your social circle.
But I digress. I started this blog as a creative outlet, a way for me to practice writing, and a way for me to exercise my thinking brain on a consistent basis.
So what is it that I want to do with my life? I do not know, but that’s okay. Van Gogh started painting at the age of 27. Think about that. One of the greatest painters of all time started painting when he was 27.
Everyone has a specific mix of skills, genetics, and experiences that make up the perfect chemical balance for a specific occupation in this world and a way to benefit other humans. My twenties have been largely trying to figure out what that occupation is – because I know it exists for me. And when I find it, I will be the best at it – because not only will I naturally be predisposed to success in that field based on who I am, but I will also be hard working at it because It’ll be the thing I enjoy most.
Maybe it’s writing. Maybe it’s teaching. Maybe it’s both. Only time will tell.
We march on in this journey.
Peace.